It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been on here. Last time I posted about my challenge to go “hands free” for a week in an effort to spend more undivided attention with Erin. You can read about my convictions here. I must say, this was one of the most difficult challenges I’ve given myself!
The week started out with a list. I listed chores, things to be done around the house, errands, and activities for Erin and I to do for each day of the week. I figured if I stuck to my list it would help me stay busy with Erin and other things that I would not even need or have time to be on the computer.
Monday morning, I wake with Erin and get the day started. She routinely watches Sesame Street in the morning. I take that hour to get a load of laundry started, take a shower if needed, and do some cleaning if I have time. After my quick shower, towels were in the laundry and kitchen was cleaned. I found myself with everything on my list (except activities) done. I was sitting there watching Elmo’s World, twiddling my thumbs, feeling bored. My child was occupied and didn’t want to play with me yet and I had absolutely nothing to do.
That’s when the phone was turned back on. What if we had an emergency and someone needed to get a hold of me? We just put an offer on a house so what if our realtor called with news?
Ten minutes later, the computer was on too. Not even a few minutes into the first day of the week and I had already failed at my challenge.
The first few days were really tough. I had the computer and phone on, but tried to stay away from it as much as possible. I did that, but not with a good attitude. And Erin took the brunt of that nastiness. I found myself on a short fuse with her. I was upset at her for being in the way of what I wanted to do.
I hated that. Hated the fact that I was getting mad at my child for needing more attention when that should have been my priority. It was clear I was going through withdrawal.
Wednesday night, I went to bed feeling defeated, horrible, and like the worse mom in the world. I decided I’d try to make the best of the days left of this challenge I had. And I did just that.
I stayed off the computer as much as possible. If I was on it (during a time that was appropriate) and Erin asked for my attention, I dropped what I was doing and spent time with her. I felt better. I felt happy that I was able to shake the computer off my eyes at a moments notice rather than shake a toddler off my leg.
I’ve learned a valuable lesson from this week: my priorities were all wrong and they needed to be straightened out. I need to enjoy the moments I have with Erin. I never know when they will be gone and most moments only happen once. So why miss it?
Now, I’m able to get away from the computer or phone the moment my child is calling for me, no questions asks. No hesitations. And things still get done in time. 🙂 Erin is happier, I’m happier. We are enjoying life together.