Erin is 10 months old today! I can’t believe that it has been 10 months since I met her. It has gone by absolutely too fast! In just 2 short months, she’ll be a year old and I’ll officially have a toddler on my hands. Although, some days, Erin seems to already show some “toddler” like behavior. We get temper tantrums when I don’t let her touch or play with certain things. Yesterday, I had to pin her down to change her poopy diaper. She was NOT happy about that! Once I was through, she let me know just how angry at me she was. Tears streaming down her face, drool coming out of her mouth, snot dripping from her nose, as her little hands held tight onto my legs as her face stared up at me begging for attention so she could be reassured that she has me wrapped around her little finger. Nope, sorry girl….tough love. It’s moments like this that I find hard.
I think about these moments I didn’t have with Rachel, how I would have handled it. I know I would have been a tough mom on her too. Sometimes, I think that as a baby loss mamma, I’m supposed to be soft and easy on my rainbow child. I feel guilty for those moments of tough love. I hear a part of me say, “She’s only 10 months old, you have plenty of time to discipline her later, she just wants you to hold her. She’s crying, pick her up.” But the other part chimes in and reminds me that she IS 10 months old, she KNOWS what she did is wrong, and she MUST learn that she can NOT get away with it. There are going to be many tough parenting moments ahead in our life and I need to remind myself that tough love is still love and sometimes it is the best love you can give your child, rainbow or not.
Here is a picture of Erin today:
At 10 months, Erin can:
-pull to a stand
-Cruise well along furniture and people
-loves to eat exactly what everyone else is eating
-screams with delight at the sight of cheerios
-her favorite color seems to be purple
-she LOVES Veggie Tales (Sorry Nancy!)
– Loves to be walked around with our fingers
– Enjoys playing with other kids
– Can babble (baba, Dada) and even knows that Daddy is “Baba”